I have four, yes four children. I never realized that having four children was similar to being the bearded lady in the circus, but it is. When you have four children it's like you're wearing a sign that says:
PLEASE TALK TO ME ABOUT FAMILY PLANNING CHOICES
These are the things people say to me almost every single time I go out in public with all four of my children. It's so much fun that I like to add a child to the mix now and then just to see how more attention we can call to ourselves.
Are they all yours?
No, only two are mine. The other two were wandering around outside, so I brought them in, so they could lift the dog food and bottled water. That stuff's heavy!
Wow, you've got your hands full!
I still haven't figured out how to take this one. Is this person commiserating with me? Are they saying I look like a zombie? Are they judging my life choices? This statement is always said when my children are quietly standing at the checkout line...
Do you stay at home?
Why do you ask this? Why? Would it be acceptable to say that I work outside the house to get away from the children I birthed, yet unacceptable to say I choose to work from home so I can spend time with them? Yes, yes I stay and WORK from home.
Are you done?
Are you looking for a surrogate?
Yes, we have filled our quota, and the job of growing babies is no longer something I aspire to (except sometimes it is, but then you remind me that I already have my hands full).
Hi, we just wanted to let you know that your children are very well behaved.
Don't get me wrong, I love a compliment on my kids' behavior but why are you so surprised? There are other families here right now with only one or two children who are also eating quietly and not throwing their food on the floor. Are you only saying this because we have so many kids that statistically speaking, it's a miracle that they are all well behaved? Oh and just so you know, you caught us on a good day. Last weekend one spilled her milk while the other wouldn't come out from underneath the table because she was overtired. 😉
You know how that happened don't you?
No, please enlighten me so I can stop making what must be a very obvious mistake!
Pretty soon you'll have your own baseball/basketball team!
Yep! Only one more kid and we will finally be able to take these little Micheal Jordan's on the road! Who needs a family band when you can build your own sports team? I will never understand this comment!
Now I see how you stay so thin. You must be chasing those kids around all day.
Oh no, you didn't! First of all thank you for the thin thing, but you've got it all wrong. Even though I have this hoard of children living under my roof, I spend time reading and working out. I know enough about health and fitness to open my own personal training business. I don't spend all day chasing my children. They are 12, 11, 7, and 5. If I spent that much time chasing them someone would probably call Child Protective Services.
I love seeing big families! You hardly ever see that anymore.
Hmmm... I see it all the time. Have you ever been to a homeschool convention; or on the internet? Lots of people have more than three kids. I think the reason this statement is so insane to me is because my dad had five brothers and sisters. My grandmother had like twelve. These are the generations before me. When did four children qualify as a "big family"?
You must be SO ready for school to start back.
Ask me during the first month I will say "No, I love having them home!". Ask me when there are 38 days until school starts and well, yes I do have a countdown timer on my computer that keeps me sane! As a work from home mom having the kids here is fun at first and then it's time for me to get back to work, and I'm left feeling guilty.