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Over the past few years I have written a few open letters to the people in my life, but have never written one to my mom. Looking back, I guess it's typical that I would write her's last because even though I've talked about her in many of my letters, moms just never really get the attention and adoration they deserve. They do what they've always done, with little accolades because they are moms, and that's just what moms do. While we may try to earn our father's love or measure up to what we perceive are his standards, we know that our moms will always love us, no matter what. Even when we fail, we don't worry about mom will think because we know she will still have our backs, protect us, and even if we disappoint her she usually doesn't show it.
Which is why this letter is so overdue. I'm sorry mom, that I didn't write your letter sooner because I should have.
I want you to know that I have always wanted to be like you. Beautiful, kind, funny, warm, full of love in every circumstance. You are the strongest woman I know. I respect you now, more than I ever could have before I became a mother myself. You made it look so easily. Rarely losing your cool, always coming up with something fun and creative to occupy our time, you were the best mom a kid could ever ask for. You tried so hard to understand me, but I had my own battles to face. I can't imagine what you went through during my teen years, how painful and stressful that must have been for you, but you were always there. Every time I came back it was like I had never left.
I don't know when I went from wanting to wear your clothes, shoes, make-up, perfume, and jewelry, to telling you that I would never do to my kids what you did to me. Always the drama queen I was... I find myself back in that same place as before, wanting to be you. Wanting to be strong, brave, creative, amazing. I hope that one day my children see me the way I see you.
When I look back on my childhood there aren't many memories that don't have you in them. You were such a huge part of my life growing up. If I could change anything about my childhood, you would have never gone back to work, because staying at home with us was your greatest gift. You were a fabulous stay at home mom. That's what is so amazing about you, any job you took (free or paid) you did the best job you could possibly do. You gave us your full attention and made our summer days into memories I can see clearly even now.
These are the things I remember about my time with you:
You loved chocolate covered bananas (but I thought they were gross). You would take us to Dairy Maid and let us get a cone while you enjoyed your frozen fruit dipped in chocolate. It wasn't often that we could afford it, so when we went it was like Heaven.
You had an amazing closet, and I wanted to live in there. Thigh high boots in red and black, high heels, leggings, red dresses, so many bottles of perfume. I'm sure that's not exactly how you remember it, but I thought you were the best dressed woman in the world. I loved waddling around in those heels when you were gone, and spraying enough perfume to fumigate the entire house.
You loved clear or as we called them "white" gummy bears, and Hallie and I would save them for you when got a bag (even though I would secretly eat a few because I loved them too).
I always thought you loved Good N Plenty's because you knew we hated them, but since you still love them I'm guessing we were wrong. When we were desperate for sugar we would take your GNP's and suck the coating off, then throw the licorice away, or put them back in the box I can't really remember... Did I ever tell you that? 🙂
You taught me to love reading with my first R.L. Stine book, Prom Night. That was the first book I had ever read that I couldn't out down. So basically it's your fault when I disappear for hours with a good book! Thanks mom 🙂
You amazed me with your ability to create something out of nothing. You could sew just about anything, and when you sewed dresses for those dish liquid bottles and everyone wanted one, I thought you were famous! You made me so proud. You also sewed my Halloween costumes, which were better than all of those plastic costumes the other kids had to wear. Sure every once in a while you would sew the sleeves to my dresses inside out, and you made me clothes that while fashionable at the time, now make me want to crawl into a hole and hide, but I love you for it! You never gave up, and if you failed you tried again until you got it right!
You could sing every single "Oldies" song in the world! Though cooler than that, was the way you would teach us to sing "rounds" in the car. Everything we did with you could be turned into something enjoyable!
You let us fold socks on Sunday night's when the Disney Family Movie would come on tv, and you would do the laundry in the living room so we could all watch it together.
There are so many wonderful memories of my life with you. You were there, active, right beside me living life. I don't remember being pushed aside. I remember being engaged. I remember feeling loved and special. The older I get the more clearly I can see how much I have become like you. I only hope that continues as I get older because when I grow up, I want to be just like my mom.
I love you mom. I'm sorry I can't be there on the special day, but I will be there soon. Until then I hope you are getting excited about your new Bluebell + White Tea perfume, Good N Plenty, White Gummy Bears, Lindt Chocolates, and Frozen Chocolate Covered Bananas! I may or may not have one more surprise up my sleeve... but you'll just have to wait and see. Oh, and don't worry, I did wash my hands before playing with your food! 🙂
Happy Mother's Day!
Are you planning something special for your mom this Mother's Day? If so, be sure to head to Wal-Mart and look for the end cap pictured below. You can find these exciting new Love2Love fragrances from Coty that are sure to help you express how much you love to love your mom! 😉 They even have cute Love2Love gift bags for only .50!