Boy oh boy! Today's reading really slapped me in the face, in a good way of course. I have been praying and waiting for a while. I wanted to hear God and to know where He was leading me. I could have never imagined that everything would start with death! Although, I'm not really sure why this surprised me because true life can only come after death. Death of the body... death to self... they both usher in a new life, and I kinda feel like that's what's happened to me.
You see, on September 8th, I posted this gem: Frustration, Waiting For God, and this post was my heart exposed. It was exactly how I was feeling. I was stuck. I was almost lukewarm.I was halfway in halfway out, that type of thing. I was sick of lying to myself and yet, I was living the lie for as long as I could. I knew God was calling me to more, but I was afraid of what that would be, whether I could actually do it, and truth be told, I didn't even know if I really wanted to do it, like REALLY wanted to (you feel me?). I guess in this post, I kind of wanted to know what "it" was. Maybe that would help me make some decisions, plan a few things, prepare myself, who knows?!
Almost three weeks later, I was watching my mother-in-law succumb to cancer and I heard God loud and clear. It was the "move" I had been waiting for, only it was not at all what I expected. I said in my earlier post that I was ready to "move" ready to "speak". A few weeks later I was writing my mother-in-law's eulogy and telling a church full of people that God loves them and that He loves them so much, that he sent his only Son to die for them.
After all, this is what my mother-in-law would have wanted me to say, and more importantly it was what God gave me to say. So, I received a directive from God, watched my second mother pass away, and my life has not been the same since her funeral.
The halfway in, halfway out, is now ALL IN. I am in the word more than ever. I am praying for wisdom, and I am seeking God, and everything else in my life carries less weight, less meaning. My family matters to me, but for different reasons. My marriage is no longer about me, but about how I can please God by loving his son (my husband) unconditionally. My children are no longer mine to cling to, I am a steward of God's children, and I do not want to bury them in a field because I fear that my Master is a hard man, I want to invest in them and give back to my Master more than I was given. That's the thing about being ALL IN. It will change everything.
This you know, my beloved brethren. But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; 20 for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God. 21 Therefore, putting aside all filthiness and all hat remains of wickedness, in humility receive the word implanted, which is able to save your souls. 22 But prove yourselves doers of the word, and not merely hearers who delude themselves. 23 For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks at his natural face in a mirror; 24 for once he has looked at himself and gone away, he has immediately forgotten what kind of person he was. 25 But one who looks intently at the perfect law, the law of liberty, and abides by it, not having become a forgetful hearer but[ an effectual doer, this man will be blessed in what he does.
26 If anyone thinks himself to be religious, and yet does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this man’s religion is worthless. 27 Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world.
I don't claim to know what God is going to do in your life, heck, I don't even know what all He will do in mine, but I do know you have to make a choice. You have to choose to look into that mirror (the Word) and see yourself for who you really are. Then you need to allow the Holy Spirit to speak to you, to convict you, to move you, and to change you. And how do you get there? You PRAY! Pray for the Holy Spirit to change your life. Jesus said that when he left one would come who would live inside of us, and that one is the Holy Spirit, and that is powerful! Powerful enough to change you, to move you, to speak to you and through you.
So open your eyes, and pray! Then follow because lukewarm is no place to be, and even though it's scary, selling out to God is the only way I want to live my life now. There is no treasure on this earth that can possibly compare to the treasures we will store up in Heaven.
Will you join me? Open your eyes and prepare your heart to follow Him, regardless of the cost! What is He calling you to do?
View 31 Days Through The Book Of James here.