I am so frustrated right now. I feel so ready... ready to GO, ready to DO, ready to LEAD, ready to SPEAK... So so ready, yet nothing has come. No answer to my prayers. No path to take.
So I wait. I wait to hear from God. I wait to be told what to do, where to go, what to learn, what to speak.
I'm tired of waiting. I'm tired of getting sidetracked while I wait (wait, is that really waiting?). I'm so hungry for truth, so ready for a directive. I want to be used by God. I want to touch people. To reach down into their souls and know their pain and sorrows for myself. I want to open myself up, pour myself out, and be a vessel of grace.
I know I'm not worthy, and I know I battle those thoughts of why God would use me, and thoughts that I am not worthy of his grace much less the platform to share that grace with others. I desire so desperately to abandon all the worthlessness of this world, this consumer culture that I continually give in to. I want to break free. I want to be different than I am today. I want to be consumed not by this world but by the love and grace of a Father who loves me even when I do the former and not the later.
God speak to me today. Open my eyes to your truths, to your path, to your wisdom, strength, mercy, and grace.
Work through me, give my life purpose, and help me not to shut my eyes or ears to the pain of this world.
I'm ready... USE ME.