Over the past few years, I have learned so much about true love. I think our culture has set us up for some major disappointments when it comes to marital love. We watch movies where the man is so full of amazing ideas and surprises. Where a man will sacrifice himself for the one, he loves and take chances we want to see our guys take. I wonder if this is how we learn what love should look like. I have never met the romcom, man. That guy in the romantic comedy who knows his new girlfriend so well that he dedicates an entire day to doing everything he knows she will love. I have never met a man who wouldn’t think twice about leaving his entire life behind to come and sweep me off my feet.
I have only ever met real men. Men who are concerned with their jobs and what the reality of leaving everything behind would look like. Men who don’t know everything about me, or can’t read my mind when I’ve never told them I would love to be surprised with a spontaneous trip to the beach on a hot summer day. I’ve never met a perfect man in person. I’ve only ever read about one perfect man.
In regards to real love, I have learned that it is hard work for we mere sinners. It doesn’t always come naturally. It can be forgotten about, and put on the back burner. True love is a gift not something we are owed. If I were repaid what I was owed in my marriage, there would be one week out of every month that my husband would book a hotel room and just abandon me.
I have also learned that love is a word we don’t understand until (by grace) we know God’s love for us. THAT my friends is true love. If we think we know what love is but don’t know the love of God we have only fooled ourselves, and I have been quite the fool. I thought I knew what it meant to love someone and to be loved, but I was wrong. I was jaded and tricked by the movies and the love songs for so long. It’s no wonder, so many marriages end in divorce. Many marriages today start off like those love songs. We could easily consider movies and music the lust of a new relationship, but songs get old, and they get played out. Eventually, that passion gives way to real life, and we no longer think of our spouse as we sing the newest love song. Instead we find ourselves thinking, why can’t he feel this way about me, or why doesn’t she fix herself up for me like that? We live and believe so many lies about love.
The truth is we are imperfect people utterly incapable of loving the way God does. That will never change not until Heaven.
God does grant us the grace to grow and change and experience his love in so many ways that we can leave those old ideas behind. The more I learn about God’s love, the less I need my husband to be someone he’s not. The more I understand that God’s love is more than enough when my husband hurts me or sins against me. BUT MOST OF ALL, I am finding that the more I understand God’s love for me, the better equipped I become to love others. Not just my husband but everyone in my life.
It is such an eye opening experience to see true love for the first time, but an incredible life long experience to walk daily with a God who loves you and continues to reveal that love to you each and every morning.
Don’t settle for the delusion my friends. Run to the one who can love you like no other. RUN TO HIM and bask in his love for you.
It will change your life!