Why did God allow my husband to cheat on me?
It’s a question I asked in tears, anguish, and with a balled fist. I was sad at first and hurt, but eventually, that gave way to anger at God.
He could have stopped my husband; he SHOULD have stopped my husband. Why would he allow me to go through so much pain?
Was I perfect in our marriage? No, not by a long shot, but I would have never had sex with another man.
After years of pain and sorrow over my dead marriage, I am sitting here today (remarried to the man that once cheated on me), and I still wonder just what God sees that I can’t.
I see growth in my life, like my Open Letter to the Woman that Slept with My Husband.
Maybe one day, we will see it all, but for now, we can only look back and judge based on our limited knowledge and understanding of God.
Sometimes God will allow you to see things, and sometimes we are left wondering.
I can look at the Bible and understand a few basic truths about why God allowed my husband to cheat.
First of all, my husband is a sinner. That is a clear and obvious truth.
I may have assumed too much to think my husband was incapable of this kind of betrayal because we all sin and fall short of the glory of God, so why would this be any different?
I can also see many things I did throughout our marriage that paved a road for this kind of sin in my marriage.
I’m not trying to take the blame for my husband’s sin. Yet, I do bear the weight and responsibility of my sins, and there is a pretty good chance that my sins have and will affect my husband’s life.
I had an emotional affair, and while this was the first of many issues that could and would burn my marriage to the ground, I would be a fool not to look into the mirror first.
God is sovereign. The Bible says, ” and we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him and have been called according to his purpose.
So rewritten this would answer our question … Why did God allow my husband to cheat? Do you see this? And we know that even our husband cheating on us in all things, God is working for our good, according to HIS purpose.
It’s not according to our purpose, but it does say that it’s for our good. How could my husband’s affair possibly be for my good, though?
We can’t always know the answer to that, but we can look at a familiar story to remind ourselves of God’s goodness.
I want you to read the story of Joseph and consider that you are Joseph and Joseph’s brothers are your husband and the “other woman.” While we don’t know what will become of our story yet, and we may not be able to see our story the way we can see Joseph’s, we do see the same God. We love and serve the God of Joseph, and there is hope in that.
So what can we do?
Well, we know that we can do nothing apart from Christ. So let’s focus our attention there.
Let’s commit to focusing not on our husband’s affair, but instead on God.
Today, I want you to go before our Lord and ask Him why He allowed your husband to cheat.
Don’t be afraid to ask him what he wants you to learn and what good he will bring from this.
Ask him those questions and abide in him. I can’t tell you why God has allowed our husbands to go astray in this way, but I can tell you that I know, without a doubt, there is a reason for this suffering, and that reason is for our good.
I will leave you with this verse.
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. Jeremiah 29: 11-12
Tuesday 29th of December 2020
My husband met a woman who is 15 years older than him while we were apart and for the last 6 months hes ran back and forth? I'd love to save my marriage what can I ask GOD for? Am i allowed to ask God to remove the woman?
Monday 22nd of June 2020
I just found out on Friday that my husband has been having an affair with a girl that he cheated on his first wife with. I asked him when we first got together if he wouldn’t talk to her, and he promised me it wouldn’t happen. I caught their messages on Instagram, and I’m heartbroken. We’ve decided to work on our marriage, but I have PTSD every time his phone goes off because I think it’s her. He deleted his Instagram and promised he wouldn’t ever talk to her again, but I’m having a hard time believing him. I wish I would have known that he cheated on his ex-wife before we exchanged our vowels because I feel like I may have had a different heart towards all of this. I just need prayers that I can with the good Lords to help move past this hurt.
Thursday 31st of October 2019
While your looking at your bible for how to be husbands and wives dont forget to acknowledge the fact that these MEN had multiple husbands but the women were not given that same right ... Just a thought for anyone out there about a controlling god given men controlling power and unconditional love boundaries ... No women or humanitarian rights taught in that good book of yours.
Friday 20th of August 2021
Why does God allow my husband to keep cheating and convince everyone even my kids it is my fault I am not only heartbroken but blamed and even mocked by those who blame. I don’t know what to do to get away from the pain of it all
Saturday 20th of June 2020
I understand I used to feel the same way! The reason was because God made man before woman and it was for different purposes back then! When Jesus died on the cross all that changed!! When a husband does not treat his bride right the Bible says his prayers are hindered, again if he his a believer ! If your husband cheated on you it’s not Gods fault He gave us direction on how to live our lives but we choose to ignore them!
Thursday 28th of May 2020
My name is Jackie i’ve been with my husband for 11 years married 10 got three children with him we went through a separation about two years ago because he was having an affair I mean things got ugly I didn’t expect a lot of the things that he did I was devastated but he did want to come back home and work things out but there was a problem he had gotten this woman pregnant so now he has a child with her he’s about a year and a couple months and of course I had to deal with him leaving when she was on her way to go deliver the baby so he was with her all the emotions that come with that the heartbreak and even now just dealing with them having communication from time to time it’s still hard I pray to God all the time that I have the strength to continue but also to let go of a lot of things because it’s not good to hold to all that I don’t know what God‘s plans are for my marriage or where it’s going to end up but I pray that whatever happens it will be for my good and the good of my kids in for my marriage but it’s really really hard when the person you gave your heart to can hurt you in one of the worst ways
Wednesday 13th of November 2019
Thank you for your comment. I can understand why you would say that, and it's true that for years, men mistreated women, but when Jesus came, he turned that on its head. He valued, loved, and honored women. I hope you are having an amazing night. <3
Friday 16th of August 2019
I’m going through the same thing. My husband had an on and off affair with a lady for about 6 years but they only had sex twice I have evidence from his Facebook and then recently he had a one night stand with his ex this ex girlfriend has been disturbing me ever since I met him at first he kept in ignoring the advances from the ex but then she brought a business idea that made them work together I think her aim was just to have sex with him so after he blocked her because she was now demanding for a relationship then she called me to let me know that she slept with my husband so I’m confused I don’t know if he has a problem or if it was a mistake that will not happen again I found out about the other affair the same day as well even though he had broken up with both ladies at the time but I’m really devastated just taking one day at a time please help me in prayers
Monday 19th of August 2019
Praying for you <3
Friday 22nd of June 2018
My husband and I were married for 22 years . I had to find out from my best friend he was having an affair with a much younger married woman, she was 27 and he was 45. They met in our church and that is where their affair began,,, he was the song leader and she played piano and sang. I was clueless... I would never had expected such a man of God to betray his family. His job offered him a position out of state that he decided to take ... never once told me about his affair or his plans to leave me and our 4 children. Just walked out ... and cut off all communication with me . I found out about affair 2 weeks later. To date it has been a year and he is pursuing a divorce... he has never spoken to me other than by text message since his leaving. I feel so betrayed and abandoned by him. My ex-in laws have accepted this new woman and even attended her college graduation ceremony. This also added to the feeling of betrayal. He has a very lucrative job.., and I do not make much $. He is fighting me on child support, custody, visitation, everything. I am overwhelmed with the fact that I didn’t cause or ask for this situation.., but seem to be the one who gets punished financially, emotionally by it. I pray God is with my children and I ... that his plan will see us through. That I see past the betrayal...
Monday 1st of March 2021
Wow ..I’m in a similar situation now . My husband actually woke up walked me to the door hugged and kissed me and said he loved me and I got in my car found out about him and the female went back in the house confronted him about it and he then said he didn’t know if he wanted to be married.. the girl is 27 and he’s 43 and she lives 1 road behind my house .. the next morning he got his things and left and went to live with his mistress that is pregnant too.. 1 road over.. he blocked me in social media and on the cell phone and I work part time and he just got me a car in November 2020 Lourdes anniversary was the end of December which he was cheating then and left the end of January was posting pictures of them on Valentine’s Day .. the disrespect... I don’t see any consequences happening to him and I’m the one struggling..
A prayerful one
Monday 3rd of December 2018
I don't know how you are doing right now but OMGOSH this is awful and terrible. I'm praying for your supernatural healing and for prosperity for you and your kids in the spiritial and the natural. That was not right what He did. I am ...wow!