An open letter to the woman who slept with my husband? Am I serious? Yes, yes I am.
By now, I have pretty much-shared everything there is to share about my divorce.
The last thing left unsaid is in regards to the “other woman.”
I decided to write an open letter to the woman who slept with my husband, because I know she reads my blog, and while I wanted to go through counseling with her included, that wasn’t a possibility.
So if you are reading this, these are all of the things I would like you to know.
A Letter To The Woman Who Slept With My Husband:
Dear “Other Woman,”
I will never forget the night that I found your number on my cell phone bill.
I had just awoken from a dream where my husband was cheating, which led me to check our phone bill. He had locked me out of the account, but I managed to get back in, and there it was.
Your number over and over again. So many minutes given to you.
I called you around midnight, crying and shaking. I prayed that what I had seen, wasn’t at all what it appeared to be.
At first, I asked if you knew my husband.
After some pleading, you admitted you did, but that you had no idea that he was still married.
You told me that you would never knowingly do anything to break up a family, and I, for some reason, felt relieved by that.
Later, of course, I would find a letter you wrote to my husband that night explaining what had happened, and asking if he still loved you.
It’s now clear to me that you lied to me about everything.
I will admit, when I first found the letter, I was angry.
While I was entering into the most devastating time of my life, you were worried that he might not love you anymore.
He was a guy you had only known for two months.
That’s when it hit me, how desperate you were to be loved. How much you needed to feel wanted and understood by someone, even someone else’s husband.
He had told you he was going through a divorce (though you heard this before I did), and you used those words to justify what you were doing.
What you did to me, and our family hurt more than you will ever know (though I don't hold you fully responsible).
But who am I, to say that I don’t understand what that desire is like?
I have been there, I once wanted something that didn’t belong to me, or wasn’t given to me by God during a particular season when I thought it was what I needed (support, encouragement, love).
I sought it from all the wrong people as well.
You go around telling people here what a horrible person I am, and how I’ve wronged you, and I bet you think I do the same.
I don’t believe you are an awful person; I think you are a sinner.
Just. Like. Me.
I struggle at times with wanting to hate you, wanting to be bitter, and wanting justice for my name (as you drag it through the dirt).
Then I remember that Jesus hung on the cross and died for every single sin either of us has and will ever commit.
I know that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
So how can I not show mercy when I’m given so much?
How can I not love you when I’ve been loved in a way that I am not deserving of?
Also, how can I blame anyone?
We have all suffered dramatically because of our sin, and yet God allowed these things to happen.
He has a plan and a purpose for our lives, and while this part of the journey was tough to walk, I trust that His word is real.
I believe that he used everything and is using everything we went through for the good of those of us who believe in Him.
We serve a sovereign God, and nothing happens, not one single thing that doesn’t first pass through His loving hands. So it’s hard, but I trust that all of this was for the best, was for His glory.
You need to know that I pray for you (and not in the typical southern “I’ll be praying for you” way).
For the hole in your heart that can only be satisfied by the love of God.
That you will be given wisdom and will choose to honor God as much as his grace allows.
For God to open your eyes to the beauty and eternal commitment of marriage and that you will be blessed with a beautiful marriage of your own.
I want you to know that you are loved.
You are loved by a God who will never mistreat you, never abandon you, and never break your heart.
The choices you’ve made have caused you so much pain and I'm sorry you're hurting. I have lived similar decisions and their consequences, so I know what you are going through.
You are not hated by me. I don’t blame you, and I forgive you, and God loves you more than any man can.
Bible Verses For Both Both Of Us:
Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you. James 4:8
but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us Romans 5:8
A new commandment I give to you that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this, all people will know that you are my disciples if you have a love for one another. John 13: 34-35
For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. Matthew 6:14-15
Thanks for reading An Open Letter To The Woman Who Slept With My Husband, please reach out if you need to talk or could use some prayers.