Skip to Content

Open Letter To The Woman Who Slept With My Husband

Sharing is caring!

An open letter to the woman who slept with my husband? Am I serious? Yes, yes I am.

By now, I have pretty much-shared everything there is to share about my divorce.

The last thing left unsaid is in regards to the “other woman.”

I decided to write an open letter to the woman who slept with my husband, because I know she reads my blog, and while I wanted to go through counseling with her included, that wasn’t a possibility.

So if you are reading this, these are all of the things I would like you to know.

A Letter To The Woman Who Slept With My Husband:

open letter to the woman who slept with my husband

Dear “Other Woman,”

I will never forget the night that I found your number on my cell phone bill.

I had just awoken from a dream where my husband was cheating, which led me to check our phone bill. He had locked me out of the account, but I managed to get back in, and there it was.

Your number over and over again. So many minutes given to you.

I called you around midnight, crying and shaking. I prayed that what I had seen, wasn’t at all what it appeared to be.

At first, I asked if you knew my husband.

You lied.

After some pleading, you admitted you did, but that you had no idea that he was still married.

You told me that you would never knowingly do anything to break up a family, and I, for some reason, felt relieved by that.

Later, of course, I would find a letter you wrote to my husband that night explaining what had happened, and asking if he still loved you.

It’s now clear to me that you lied to me about everything.

I will admit, when I first found the letter, I was angry.

While I was entering into the most devastating time of my life, you were worried that he might not love you anymore.

He was a guy you had only known for two months.

That’s when it hit me, how desperate you were to be loved. How much you needed to feel wanted and understood by someone, even someone else’s husband.

He had told you he was going through a divorce (though you heard this before I did), and you used those words to justify what you were doing.

What you did to me, and our family hurt more than you will ever know (though I don’t hold you fully responsible).

But who am I, to say that I don’t understand what that desire is like?

I have been there, I once wanted something that didn’t belong to me, or wasn’t given to me by God during a particular season when I thought it was what I needed (support, encouragement, love).

I sought it from all the wrong people as well.

You go around telling people here what a horrible person I am, and how I’ve wronged you, and I bet you think I do the same.

I don’t believe you are an awful person; I think you are a sinner.

Just. Like. Me.

I struggle at times with wanting to hate you, wanting to be bitter, and wanting justice for my name (as you drag it through the dirt).

Then I remember that Jesus hung on the cross and died for every single sin either of us has and will ever commit.

I know that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

So how can I not show mercy when I’m given so much?

How can I not love you when I’ve been loved in a way that I am not deserving of?

can marriage survive adultery

Also, how can I blame anyone?

We have all suffered dramatically because of our sin, and yet God allowed these things to happen.

He has a plan and a purpose for our lives, and while this part of the journey was tough to walk, I trust that His word is real.

I believe that he used everything and is using everything we went through for the good of those of us who believe in Him.

We serve a sovereign God, and nothing happens, not one single thing that doesn’t first pass through His loving hands. So it’s hard, but I trust that all of this was for the best, was for His glory.

You need to know that I pray for you (and not in the typical southern “I’ll be praying for you” way).

For the hole in your heart that can only be satisfied by the love of God.

That you will be given wisdom and will choose to honor God as much as his grace allows.

For God to open your eyes to the beauty and eternal commitment of marriage and that you will be blessed with a beautiful marriage of your own.

I want you to know that you are loved.

You are loved by a God who will never mistreat you, never abandon you, and never break your heart.

The choices you’ve made have caused you so much pain and I’m sorry you’re hurting. I have lived similar decisions and their consequences, so I know what you are going through.

You are not hated by me. I don’t blame you, and I forgive you, and God loves you more than any man can.

Bible Verses For Both Both Of Us:

Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you. James 4:8

but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us Romans 5:8

A new commandment I give to you that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this, all people will know that you are my disciples if you have a love for one another. John 13: 34-35

For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. Matthew 6:14-15

Thanks for reading An Open Letter To The Woman Who Slept With My Husband, please reach out if you need to talk or could use some prayers.

Read More Like This:

Sharing is caring!

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Atud Minet

Tuesday 15th of February 2022

I am in a difficult situation. My husband is openly cheating on me and he feels very comfortable with his affair. It shows to me he doesn't care if I am gone from the marriage


Monday 10th of August 2020


This article helped me get through today. I found out my husband has been cheating on me for a couple of years with a much younger woman. When I confronted him, the only response I received was “it’s my fault”. He says it’s my fault I was digging in his things and found out, and that if I would not have been digging, I would have never known. I have been have several daily “war room” sessions with God, fighting for our marriage, and feel like my prayers are not being heard because he is still seeing her. This article helped me realize that God is working for my good and I need to listen to him, even it’s it’s not what I think I want. Prays would be greatly appreciated by all. Thanks, and God bless.

Darnetta Johnson

Tuesday 15th of December 2020

Shelby...I just wanted to let you know you are not alone. I am going through the same thing my husband left me for no apparent reason and has move in with the woman that he has cheated on me for 6 months. I do not understand why this has happen. I do not understands God's plan? But, I pray that God reveal his plan on why he allow this to happen to the both of us and our marriages. I pray that God continues to bless you and me and heal our hurting hearts.

Shasta Walton

Wednesday 12th of August 2020

Shelby, I am so sorry for the pain you are going through right now. I will be praying for you, your husband, and the woman. God is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. He already knew, even if you didn't. I beg you to cling to him and dismiss every lie Satan will throw at you during this time. It is never our fault when someone else chooses to sin. I promise you, if you let God hold you all during this time and deal in His way and time, you will not regret it. He will never leave you or forsake you. He is your rock, shield, and comforter. Jesus is our perfect bridegroom. Please email me if you need someone who understands to listen to you. Shasta AT

Father God, please wrap Shelby in your loving embrace. Let her feel the warmth of your love and let your perfect peace wash over her. Set her mind at ease and let her know she has nothing to fear. Quiet her racing thoughts and fill her heart with love and compassion for the people you've placed in her life. I ask you to break her husband's heart over his sin and hope that you will lead this couple down a path of redemption, Lord. We know that while we were still sinners, Jesus died for us because of your great love. I pray that this couple will experience those truths in fresh ways this week. Let your love wash over this family, Lord. Thank you for holding this precious family in your hands and allowing even the hard things to transform them into men and women who bring honor and glory to your name. Let Christian brothers and sisters rally around them in prayer and lift them up in their time of need. Surround them with compassionate and faithful friends and family members who can help them carry this burden to the cross. We love you, Lord, and pray to love you more each day. In Jesus' name Amen.


Wednesday 3rd of June 2020

I could use some prayers. My partner of 2years now struggles with sexual addiction. I have a very hard time understanding this side of things. I believe it full commitment and God is all I am. I know he brought us together, that is why I am still here. I love him with all my heart. It is a tough spot to be in.


Tuesday 5th of January 2021

After being married married for 34 years my husband left me for a woman who had lost her husband . She provided him with all the material things that she had for her late husband. She knew that he was married to me but she didn’t care. She sent me pictures of them having sex through Facebook messenger. Through it all my husband denied it all even though the photos showed her face his face and their bodies as well. We been separated for a year now and I asked him what did I do for him to cheat and leave me for her and his response was that I didn’t do anything but I am a good woman

Shasta Walton

Wednesday 3rd of June 2020

Praying for you <3

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.