Boy, this one's gonna be a doozy.
Will the real Donald Trump please stand up?
2016 was a rough year.
When I first learned "The Donald" was running for president, I, like most people, assumed it was a joke. I loved The Apprentice, and I respected Trump's businesses.
All of that changed when I started watching his campaign rallies.
Listening to the news, reading about Donald Trump's business dealings, and hearing him speak were enough to make me feel like I was going mad.
How could anyone be serious about making this man the president?
Surely this was NOT reality.
My husband, who had never voted before 2016, was fully vested in the election. He loved Donald Trump, and while he didn't agree with the things he said or the way he handled himself at all times, he believed 100% that what this country needed was someone who was not a politician to lead our country and get us out of debt.
Will my real husband please stand up?
We regularly fought as we watched the debates and discussed the news. I found myself growing angrier with each passing day that my husband seemed to be blind to all of Donald Trump's sins. He just excused them away (in my eyes).
Then it happened. It was Trump vs. Hillary and I saw myself having to choose the lesser of two evils (again in my eyes), so I did what many Republican men and women did who saw the warning signs but couldn't bear to vote for a Clinton.
I VOTED FOR DONALD TRUMP
There, I said it. I voted for a man that, in 2016, I couldn't stand. I voted for someone that I did not believe was qualified to be the president because my long-standing (and honestly unresearched) distrust of the Clinton's made me feel like I had no other choice.
I declared war on my husband
Here we are four years later, and I will finally admit to HATING the president of our country. I've hated him so much in fact that I started ridiculing and even harassing my husband about his support of Trump. I became a hard person to live with. My hatred for our country's leader had grown so much that I honestly thought it might lead to divorce.
I would call my husband, Donald Trump, and then tell him how much I hated Donald Trump. I would say that Trump supporters were stupid, racist, homophobic, sexist, and every other ic and ist I could think of.
2020 the straw that broke the camel's back
Between the virus, deaths, masks, police brutality, BLM, and everything else we have dealt with this year, my hatred for Trump was getting out of control. He was everything I was afraid of and more.
The fighting in my house reached its peak around early June, and I knew that my relationship was in serious trouble but honestly had no idea what to do about it.
Twenty-one days ago, I started the Love Dare devotional as a last-ditch effort to revive my marriage. My husband and I were barely talking to each other, and I knew neither of us would last much longer at this rate.
I can say with a grateful heart that the last twenty-one days has changed our marriage in so many surprising ways, but I knew the elephant was still in the room just waiting to bulldoze all God had been doing in our marriage.
Then it happened.
One morning I went on a rant (not directed at my husband) where I repeatedly brought up Donald Trump's name. My husband tried to counter me, but I wasn't having it. I got quiet and started sulking.
But then God
Always but then God.
What both my husband and God have helped me to realize over the past few days is that my hatred for Donald Trump says a lot more about my relationship with God and how I see God, than it does Donald Trump.
Double-minded woman, I am
What God is graciously showing me is that I do not trust Him. I don't trust that since He has allowed this and and always knew this would be that He would take care of this country and it's people (specifically it's minorities and poor citizens).
BUT who does God care about?
Obviously, He loves everyone but Jesus made it a point to take care of the outcasts of society. He calls his followers to take care of those deemed "less than" in this world. So if I know this about God, and I believe God works all things together for our good and to bring glory to himself, what am I so afraid of?
I'm not saying any of this to discount Donald Trump's sins.
I do know there will be justice. Maybe not now, but one day. This means that I can and should pray for Donald Trump like I would any other person living in sin (like myself or my children). Sometimes I forget that we are ALL sinners.
Sometimes I forget to take the plank out of my own eye. Most of the time I forget God is in control. What is happening now is nothing new. It has been happening all over the world since we were cast from the garden.
We live in a fallen world and we long for home. We long for home so much that we try in our own strength to bring Heaven to Earth.
I've been distracted
I can admit that I have allowed myself to be distracted by Donald Trump's sins and have completely ignored my own that desperately need to be tended to.
Thankfully for myself, Donald Trump, and everyone else on this planet God merciful.
I have hurt people in my life. I have grown bitter. I have sinned.
I am sorry for being so careless and I pray that God will continue to open my eyes to my sin.
I pray that God will renew my faith in Him and help me to see the beauty that comes from the ashes.
I've been reminded that there is a purpose for everything. Donald Trump is not the enemy. He never was. He is a distraction. We fight against much bigger forces than Donald Trump.
God has already won.
That means we do not have to be filled with fear, dread, or hate because He has overcome.
As his child, I don't have to worry. I need to refocus. I need to fix my eyes on Jesus and live the life He has called me to live.
I need to love my neighbor as myself. I need to speak the truth IN LOVE and spread hope not fear.
I need to rest in Him and help others find rest in Him as well.
Where do we go from here?
My plan of action at this point is to spend time with God every single day. I plan to pray for our president, this country, and the world. I will lead where He follows.
That is all I can do.
God doesn't need me. He really doesn't. For that, I am grateful because I regularly fall short.
I wanted to share this because I know I'm not alone in feeling so torn. I also know that I'm not alone in fighting against hating our president. I will be praying for us all.
Father God, life feels chaotic and messy right now. Every day we are bombarded by messages of fear and hopelessness. Children are sold, men and women are slaves, our black and brown brothers and sisters live in fear, police officers feel hated, sickness has washed over the world, relationships are crumbling, and our leaders are failing us. We need you, Lord. You alone can give us peace and ensure our salvation. You can bring justice, grace, and mercy to this fallen world. We need you, Lord. Every second of the day, we need your presence in our lives. Fill us with the Holy Spirit and change our hearts to look more like your son. Move our hands and feet to share the good news and take care of our brothers and sisters. Bring change in a way only you can Lord. Let us not put our faith in our leaders, but you alone. We love you, Lord, help us love you more.
In Jesus' name, Amen
Much needed verses for today:
- Let all that you do be done in love. - 1 Corinthians 16:14
- Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8
- A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this, all people will know that you are my disciples if you have love for one another. John 13:33-34
- Jesus answered, “The most important is, ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these". Mark 12:29-31
- Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses. Proverbs 10:12
- “But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you". Luke 6:27-28
- Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end, keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints, and also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak. Ephesians 6:10-20
- “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? You, therefore, must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect. Matthew 5:43-48