Having children is such a blessing right? I mean it's something we dream about as little girls. We spend our days pretending to be moms. We mother every person we can. We mother animals, dolls, other children, basically anything that will sit still, but there are a few things I wish someone would have told me about being a mother before I became a mother.
Here are five things I wish someone would have told me about having kids:
1. You have to have a sense of humor. I mean a good; strong sense of humor because if you don't laugh you'll probably cry. Kids are crazy. They do crazy stuff, they say crazy stuff, and they will drive you crazy if you can't find a way to laugh at the shenanigans they pull. I think the best thing to do is to remember what it was like to BE a kid. Like, remember when all things poop, and boogers were funny? Yeah, that should help you out a lot. Especially if you have boys!
If you find yourself scratching your head and asking why in the world a child would do something just try to laugh it off and remember it's because they are children. Stuff doesn't have to make sense to them. Trying the things they see on YouTube seems like a good idea because ... they are kids! The biggest advice I would go back and give myself is to lighten the heck up because being uptight is no fun for anyone.
2. You have to be okay with messy. Kids are dirty, nasty, messy creatures. They can do things you didn't know were humanly possible. They can poop in their shoes without even trying. I'm not kidding. They are also their own version of creative. They think it's creative to turn sidewalk chalk into paint with water when you already have finger paint. Why do they need sidewalk chalk paint? They really don't! I mean you buy them chalk, you buy them paint, and they don't use either for their intended purposes. Instead, they decide to "create" the best paint in the world using their kitchen toys, water, and sidewalk chalk and guess what, after making the biggest mess ever... they still NEVER PAINT WITH IT! Just get over it and let them have fun! Dirty is fun, and it's all a part of childhood.
3. You will need help! I wish I would have known early on that it's totally okay and necessary to ask for help. To ask for advice, especially from parents who have already BTDT. The best feelings come when you feel totally alone and like your failing as a mom, and you realize that a parent you look up to has been through a similar situation with their child. Parenting can feel so isolating at times, and you can feel like the worst parent on the planet with the worst kids, but you're not, and their not, I promise! You just need someone you can trust to remind you of that when you are going through the darkest of days!
4. One moment your kids will love you more than anything in the world and the next they will hate you. Holy crap! Why didn't anyone prepare me for that? Seriously, how do you go from having children that fight to be near you at the movies to having conversations about discipline where they tell you with their words that they wish you didn't "care so much" about them? Or that dreaded moment when they yell that they hate you? The thing you don't realize is how painful those words can be. You have to remember to remain calm and try not to take it personally. It's not that they hate you, in fact, they still love you just as much as they always have, they are just frustrated and this my friends is what a teenage tantrum looks like. You thought those fits in Walmart were bad? No, words can be much more painful than a five-minute tantrum in the grocery store. So try to remember that it's not you they hate, it's authority and rules. They want their own way, and you're standing in the way of that. One day they will thank you. Again, I promise.
5. Children age you. They make you OLD! Thanks a lot, everyone who ever knew this and still let me start young. Why didn't you tell me that having children would age me at a much faster rate? Do you buy stock in anti-aging creams and beauty products? My skin is wrinkling, and my hair is thinning, and I know it's because of the stress these little
monsters angles have added to my life. I love my children but the older they get, the older I get, and it's not just a birthday thing. It's like when my husband came out of boot camp. He went in looking fresh-faced like an eighteen-year-old should and came out looking like a twenty-five-year-old who had seen too much. That's how I feel. Like I've seen too much! I wouldn't change it for the world, but man, a warning would have been nice! These days I'm slathering on moisturizer like it's going out of style and doing all I can to make this baby fine hair look as thick as possible.
My poor husband has lost much of his hair, and I have no doubt that it's stress related! I can't help him now, but I can protect myself! 😉